Tired

Warning: This is not my typical upbeat, cheerful post so if you are looking for something positive to start your week off, you probably want to stop reading now. 

(But as a combo family scrapbook and personal diary, this is my free therapy to help me, coupled with prayer, gain some peace of mind and heart.)

And so with that disclaimer, here goes...

-I'm tired

-I'm tired of being tired

-I'm tired of being sick

-I'm tired of having no energy to play with my toddler, run, lift her, throw her over my back for piggy back rides spinning around and around.

-I'm tired of having no desire to cook or clean 

-I'm tried of being hungry all the time but not knowing what I feel like

-I'm tired of stuffing my face with comfort food to alleviate the nausea

-I'm tired of feeling guilty about the comfort food I am in-taking

-I'm tired of worrying about my increasing tummy and thigh fat because of the comfort food I am constantly eating

-I'm tired of hearing Genevieve's lingering cough in the middle of the night and being completely helpless because I know if I go into her room to comfort her or pick her up, she will awaken too much rather than putting herself back to sleep which she does without a fuss.

-I'm tired of feeling indifferent about everything 

-I'm tired of being irritable

-I'm tired of people overstating how glad they are that I/we are excited about the pregnancy as if most people in our shoes wouldn't be excited or that this pregnancy was some sort of "accident" or "oopsie" 

-I'm tired of people asking if we are done or stopping after #3 (immediately after the courtesy Congratulations) as if 1) it's any of their business, 2) as if we can't control ourselves or shouldn't, oh, I don't know, "Be Fruitful and Multiply" and 3) as if that's some sort of taboo to have more than 2 or 3 kids nowadays

-I'm tired of focusing on the exterior side effects rather than interior reality that an immortal soul made in the image and likeness of God is dwelling within me.

***And***

-I'm tired of complaining.

Ahhh, I feel better already. I promise the next post will be much more uplifting! :)