Mother's Day 2011

A mother is the most important person on earth. She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more magnificent than any Cathedral -- a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby's body. 

-- Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty

What a tremendous privilege and responsibility we mothers have to be chosen to house, to form, to nurture, to love and to instruct this immortal soul.

15 immortal souls between the 3 generations (Ita bearing 60% of those) 

The greatest gift I received today was simply observing my girls with a special intentness and nearly crying with joy at their innocence, their purity, their immense joy (especially in their Bapa's company) that blesses me beyond exhaustion, beyond aches, pains and beyond all temporary frustrations.

Thank you Lord for using my children to help me become closer to You than I ever thought I could be.

 Mary, Queen of all Mothers, Pray for us! 

My Sweet Sweet Genevieve

I just cant get enough of her.

 I smother her in kisses every morning and carry her as long as possible before she is squirming to get down and when I lay her down at night, I can't wait to do it all over again. Despite her increasing independence and apparent, unique spunkiness, she is still the Sweetest thing. 

I wouldn't call her mellow, so much anymore. She is a very healthy, active 16 month-old: she darts into the street to get to that tether ball she eyes at our neighbors across the way; she lets her sister know in very clear ways she can't be bullied around and she throws herself on the floor in a short lived fit when something doesn't please her. But she still loves her sleep, she loves to share with everyone, to give big sister her blankie and "baca", to wave "hello" and "goodbye" to everyone and anyone. She still loves her daddy's arms for comfort and consolation when she is overly tired or sick and loves to pat or lay her soft cheeks on my baby bump. And she still melts my heart even though the days of holding her close to my chest are fading all too quickly.

 How happy I was over the fact that the Vans Auntie Nini bought for Spicy (whose feet were far too wide & thick to ever squeeze into) are finally getting broken into over 3 years later!!!

Celebrating with the onesies you love

(If the title has you chuckling or smiling, I can't take the credit. That would be my better half, Mr. Soto)

This past weekend, I gathered with my nearest and dearest friends to create some homemade, special onesies for the littlest Soto coming next month (uh, hopefully next month!) It was such a neat celebration from the days weeks prior of preparing all the details: gathering fabric and decorations and dying and washing dishes, cutting stencils, making name tags and the like, to the actual day of being with such incredible women whom God has blessed me immeasurably with their friendship and life example. From the moment the doorbell rang and the first guest arrived, the time. flew. by.  

And the day began. This was my speech attempt to express my appreciation and love for each one of my friends who come from varying stages and places in my journey but equally fill my life with such immense fulfillment and richness... What a dream come true to have them all in the same home sharing food, each other's company and crafting!!!!

Then we prayed and ate our heart out! The lovely spread...

This was Station 2: Choose your onesie color/style, fabric and applique stencil... 

(with some professional examples for inspiration)

Station 3: The sweatshop craft room with a lovely view of the Emde Resort...

 & the slave laborers ladies hard at work producing some awesomely creative onesies:

 They definitely surpassed any and all expectations I had with their intensity and excitement.

Hands down, Julianna had the most creative, hillarious idea for 1 of her creations...Can you guess what it is? Not a jelly bean or a jumping bean....

 It's Soren's missing left kidney!!! It still has me busting up every time I see it! Yes, child, we are already laughing at your expense before you even enter the world :)

(& you better believe he will be seen sporting that proudly)

And this super momma,  in the land of sleep deprivation, cracked nipples and a healing crotch (sorry Care), having pushed out a 9 pounder 10 days prior, shows up beautifully glowing, passes up the pre-made stencils and busts out a onesie using a hand drawn original! What a treat not only to see her but to also meet and hold baby Tyler!

 Some more highlights of the beautiful afternoon...

I'll need to update the "after" picture since several more were added after working into the evening (not to mention the backsides of some which have some really cute bum embellishments) but a very impressive transformation...

Thank you Mom (Dad, Miranda & Ita) for your incredible labor of love, countless hours of shopping, prepping, cleaning, dying, washing, ironing, gift wrapping, knitting, crocheting, decorating and much more to create such a warm, welcoming and loving environment for everyone. It was such a special time, absolutely perfect, and I am so blessed to have had such a memorable celebration in honor of our 3rd miracle.

 And a special thanks to Mr. Soto for taking over as Mr. Mom giving our girls a full day of fun memories with daddy (& some adorable video to prove it) so mommy could take a day "off" and get spoiled!

The adventures of a SAHM (with an awesome Mom!)

I get asked how I survive without a vehicle. Often I wonder why I even used to worry about what I thought at the time was one of Daddy's silly, extreme ideas. Boy was I wrong. Between 2, often 3 staggered naps, meals, homeschooling lessons, a park within walking distance, strolls to the local fabric store, wagon rides, a spacious front yard to indulge in chalk art, bubbles, play-doh, playing in the dirt, with leaves, sticks, a sand table that captures the girl's attention almost every time they set foot outdoors, a swing, a playmate next door, almost daily walks to Gramma Yvonne (our neighborhood grandma & watch dog)'s house for sweet treats & lovely chats, none of us are ever deprived nor bored. Besides, as hard as I try, I am convinced it is a forgone conclusion that every time I enter the mini-van, I am doomed to spend money we don't have. 

And then there are the visits from Mimi when she often whisks us away for an outing that is never less than perfect.

 

Like say, enjoying the gorgeous 80 degree weather at the beach...

The girls were so content for so long, amidst the mild rays of sunshine and gentle ocean breeze, I sat on the park bench not quite sure what to do with myself. So I rested. And snacked. And snapped a few pictures.

 

Thank you Mimi for an incredible day!  

Spending time with you is the greatest gift we could receive.

I can't tell you how good it feels to say I only have 12 weeks to go (hopefully less, please Lord!). Of course, to the rude clueless outsider, apparently I look "huge" "ready to pop now" and the fact I still have 3 months to grow seems impossible. But whatever, people. 

Let the countdown begin!

The Case of the Missing Kidney

This morning, I went for a follow up ultrasound to check on the kidneys of our little guy. In our 20 week u/s, the tech didn't see the left kidney and Doc confirmed it wasn't in the usual spot (your abdomen) but that sometimes it can be found in the lower pelvic area which we would have to wait a few weeks to check on. After patiently answering many a question, assuring me that a) baby was totally healthy and would be absolutely fine b) there was nothing I did that caused the possible missing kidney, c) that it is not linked to any other abnormalities nor syndromes and d) that it does not mean anything about his life expectancy,  I resolved not to worry about it or even think (too much) about it until we knew for more certain. 

Which brings us back to today. The drive to St Joseph's Medical Plaza was surprisingly peaceful. I turned on my Christian radio station and began to sing along with praises to my King. Immediately, I was overcome. It was one of those moments. I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit surrounding me, refreshing my soul and strengthening me from inside out. I was captivated by the beautiful sunshine, the striking clouds and blue skies that were filled with thunder, lightning and a downpour just a couple hours prior. I was even unaffected by the horrible traffic and Dean can tell you that if that were the case, it had to be the Holy Spirit at work! ha.

Totally unexpectedly I could feel my eyes well up with tears as I felt completely overwhelmed by His goodness and His love.  I felt joyful, humbled and simply grateful to be alive, to be in His grace and to have a precious life within me, the beautiful, miraculous outcome of Dean and my complete self-giving & life-giving love to one other. I turned my nervousness over to Him and committed every day of his life, every organ, every hair on my baby boy's head to His Creator. Then I got to the waiting room. That spiritual "high" feeling wore off a tad... The 15 minute wait seemed like an eternity. I felt nervous again. I wasn't worried. Honestly, I wasn't expecting to hear anything different. I guess it was just that impulse of  wanting needing to know. To be in control again. It was a very detailed ultrasound, much more in depth than the standard check in the Dr's office, or at least it seemed to be. She took her time measuring every major bone and checking blood flow from here and there. I'm sure she left the "kidney search" to the very end purposely, for her sake, as to not have some basket-case uncooperative mom on her hands. 

But I was fine. She did only see 1 kidney but apparently he's got some damn long legs and an adorably cute profile!  :) She asked if my husband was tall because compared to the other measurements, I guess his femur measured very long. Hmm, future track star?! We shall see.

I'm still not worried. Really. None of the medical professionals are so why should I be? And worrying isn't from the Lord anyway. He has put us in this situation for a reason and He wants us to trust Him evermore. All I'm called to do as a mother is to love and teach my children in the ways of the Lord, and through my example, striving every day for holiness and oneness with Him and He will take care of the rest. 

That simplifies everything.

And in the words of my wise, awesome, pro-life Dr., "Besides, God doesn't care what our shell looks like or how it functions. All he cares about is our soul, what's in our heart. We'll get a new body in heaven anyway" I love that.

So with that, here is baby Soren. Looks like he's got the full lips gene, just like big(gest) sis. 

 And this would be him showing off his male genitals
(not where the arrow is pointing, in between the legs, people). 

Those boys. They have no shame. haha.

Why Lent?

Wikipedia gives a sensible explanation but here are my personal reflections:

Seconds after snapping this photo, the thought came to me, a revelation actually, since I don't think my puny little mind could have come up with this on my own, that even all of nature is preparing for that glorious day. Every morning while I am playing on the floor with the girls and I look up, all the way from the living room through our kitchen window, I can see the bright, vibrant, green leaves on our tree that was completely barren not too long ago, getting fuller and fuller each day. It's Spring. New Life is all around us. And although I am yearning to sing along with those chirping birds and rejoice in the gorgeous sunny weather, skip the journey and rush ahead to the celebration of our heavenly home, we are called to sacrifice. To meditate. To help carry His cross.
To remember. 

Sooooo His awesome bride, instituted these "rules". Fasting, abstaining from meat, Holy Days of Obligation. The list goes on and on. But most people, including especially Catholics miss the boat by a long shot. The Church does not mandate these things to be authoritative. It doesn't need anything but the Holy Spirit and the Holy priesthood for that. Rather, these things are for our good, our benefit, our path to holiness. Our salvation. She knows that if these weren't obligations, we simply wouldn't do them! On our own, I hardly believe we would fast (at least not in America), give alms, or go to church (at least not consistently or religiously) even though it is good for our souls. In other words, Mother Church invites us, facilitates and fosters a way to become closer to Her groom, Christ. Just as an earthly mother does in so many physical ways. Sadly, we have become luke-warm and stagnant or we simply obey without understanding the deeper meaning and experiencing the deeper beauty.
As I was sharing my frustrations and sadness with Daddy over an indifferent society obsessed with distractions; with finding the next thing "to do"; paganizing (my word) everything the Church has established; with finding purpose and significance in anything other than Jesus, the real, true, living Jesus who because of His love always called and commanded change, repentance, turning away from sin; and in the culture of moral relativism that does not see nor understand sin, or Satan or spiritual warfare, he summed it up perfectly, always so profoundly short and simple. He shared that it's been said that it seems we have performed an even greater miracle than Jesus. He turned water into wine and we have managed to turn wine back into water. Wow....

For the next 40+ days, I have decided to sacrifice something that would ordinarily be tough, but manageable. However, because of my pregnancy condition, the word sacrifice is taken to a whole new level. I find it simply irresistible. I crave it, I want it, I (think I) need it! And that is.... sweets: Any kind, any way. You name it. But in order of preference and frequency of consumption: Donuts, Cookies, cakes, ice cream, candy, the list goes on and on.
(and I wonder why I gain 50 pounds during pregnancy!?! ha! )
It is only the end of day 2 and it has been quite challenging and I have already been tempted countless times. (We all know nothing can replace a good piece of chocolate and fruit juice, honey and peanut butter only go so far to curb that craving. Man, I sound like an addict!) It sounds silly. Over food? Really? REALLY. TRUST ME.  It's important to insert here that as a stay at home, often vehicle-less, pregnant mom, I spend more time in the kitchen than anywhere else in the house. Yesterday, as I opened the fridge to grab something for either breakfast, snack time for Spicy, snack time for Sweets, snack time for mommy or lunch (I can't remember, you get the point.) a package of Girl Scout Cookies next to a baggie of Hershey chocolate pieces was staring glaring me in the face. I kid you not (a mom-ism) almost audibly, I could hear the voice of the little devil over my left shoulder (you know, like in those cartoons) saying quite clearly in my ear: "Oooh, that's too bad that those are going to go to waste and you're going to have to throw them away since you are the primary consumer. Wow, that's money you are wasting." No joke, sarcastic tone included. No sooner that I came back with a "stop it" thought, I hear in my head "Cmon, you can have just ONE bite and start tomorrow. He won't mind".  Are you kidding me? Talk about the realness of temptation, of the devil, of evil. I slammed the fridge and walked to the cupboards. Although it was filled with healthy alternatives, my eyes went straight to a lid from a mysterious jar, (which wasn't so mysterious since I knew exactly its contents) and despite it being covered by boxes and bags, my mind chose to obsess over it. The jar of Jelly Beans from Sweet G's birthday party. Again, the temptations came. It was incredible. It was REAL. This happened over and over and over again. 
On my own, with no deeper motivation other than to "obey the rule" I am convinced I would have failed. My flesh, my passions, my desires are too strong and my will is too weak. But with just a whisper of the holy name of "Jesus" I regained all the strength I needed. I remembered His words to his disciples, "Can you not stay awake with me for even an hour?" and I was flooded with images from the stunning masterpiece, "The Passion of the Christ" movie as my eyes and mind were shifted away from self and onto His Love. Phew! It's going to be a long, painful journey in my pathetic little attempt to share in His suffering but He's so worth it and if I come to a deeper understanding of His sacrifice, even just a teensy weensy bit, I think I will rejoice all the more on Easter Sunday and shout "Hallelujah" just a little bit louder!  

On a side note, as I was listening to The Fish (Christian radio station) yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised to hear the DJ talking about giving things up and people of all ages calling in to report what they were giving up and why it makes them a better Christian. I thought to myself "Hmm, I'm glad it's not just a Catholic thing anymore" 

I love my faith and I love being Catholic!